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Ex97
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Registered: 06-2003
Location: Fermanagh
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Re: Cricket


Wouldn't we all have our hands full with Liz Hurley given the chance?


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Alan Armstrong
Western Farm Enterprises
20/12/2010, 13:10 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
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Cowtalk Staff

Registered: 11-2003
Location: South Africa
Posts: 2817
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Re: Cricket


WHAT do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an OXO cube?
A laughing stock.


The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting. They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!


What's the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes.


Did you hear what the stump microphones picked up when The Ashes skippers tossed the coin on Boxing Day. Andrew Strauss called correctly and, quick as a flash, said to Ricky Ponting: "You lads can bat.''
Just as quick, Ponting replied: "No, we can't. We really can't."


What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand?
A waiter.


Of everyone in the Aussie team, who spends the most time at the crease?
The woman who irons their cricket whites.


What's the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

What is the main function of the Australia coach?
To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.


On his way out into the middle to bat, Ricky Ponting gets a call from his wife and teammate Michael Hussey tells her he's heading out to the middle. His wife replies: "I'll hold, he won't be long!"


What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?
Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both.


What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come
from.


What's the Australian version of LBW?
Lost, Beaten, Walloped.


Why is Ricky Ponting cleverer than Houdini?
Because he can get out without even trying.


What does Ricky Ponting put in his hands to make sure the next ball is almost certainly going to be a wicket?
A bat.


What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.


Why can't Australian blokes take their girlfriends to the cricket?
They eat all the grass.


What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson? They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.


What's the difference between Ricky Ponting and a phoenix?
At the end of the ashes, the phoenix still has a future.





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WWS-SA
12/1/2011, 9:04 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
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VG88

Registered: 11-2010
Location: North Yorkshire
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Re: Cricket


What do you call an Aussie who is good with a bat?
A vet.

---
If it goes right its line-breeding, If it goes wrong its in-breeding.
12/1/2011, 21:31 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
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Ex97
True blue dinky-di maverick


Registered: 06-2003
Location: southern,oz
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Re: Cricket


are you insinuating that all australian blokes' girlfriends are cows?
12/1/2011, 22:04 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
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EX90

Registered: 01-2011
Posts: 151
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Re: Cricket


Like them alot.
Watson did go alright the other day.
One of the best innings I've seen in a while
19/1/2011, 12:47 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
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GP80

Registered: 01-2011
Posts: 7
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Re: Cricket


I usually dislike ODIs but the current series between Aus and Eng is fairly good, being Irish the results may have something to do with it emoticon . Have England taken there eye off the ball after the Ashes or does it illustrate the mess the aussie selectors made of their test team. Marsh, White, D Hussey should be in before Smith, especially if he doesn’t bowl. emoticon
Are you looking forward to the World Cup? Ireland for an upset :IR: ? :devil
23/1/2011, 16:27 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
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Ex 97 2E

Registered: 06-2003
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Re: Cricket


What??? No talk of the cricket world cup??? :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR: :IR:

so hard to resist!!!

and Geoff Boycott can keep his leprechaun jibes!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

---
Work with Cross-Border Farmer Gps. Still involved in home farm, Inishowen Holsteins & Knock Texels! Herd av. 8, 300kg (its gone up) on grass based diet, av. class. around 82 - 83 pts. Need a good Texel ram talk to me!
4/3/2011, 13:03 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
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Ex97
Cyborg


Registered: 01-2004
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 2203
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Re: Cricket


On our local evening news, a ten year old boy (filmed in a primary school playground) was asked what he thought of the England/Ireland result.

He said that it was 'good to see them beaten at their own game.'

And thats how we do it over here - teach the new blood the old hatred, but keep drawing down the benefits too!



5/3/2011, 1:34 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
foxleigh Profile
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Ex97
True blue dinky-di maverick


Registered: 06-2003
Location: southern,oz
Posts: 2938
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Re: Cricket


interesting to see if the irish lads can finish higher at this years world cup......does beg the Q what kind of a team did england put up ? I mean they win the ashes and lose to the irish? most of whom would probably be ammateurs.
GO IRELAND
5/3/2011, 8:15 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 
alan a Profile
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Ex97
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Registered: 06-2003
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Re: Cricket


11 or 12 of the Irish team are full time professionals with English county teams.

The English team was what they considered to be their best available side.

The one thing that does irritate me, is the way the commentators kept referring to 2 of our players as Australian-born.

They didn't feel the need to mention the 4 South African born players in the England team.

I also enjoyed the horror from the UK reporters when our star batsman, Kevin O'Brien said he wanted to keep playing for Ireland, not switch to England.

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Alan Armstrong
Western Farm Enterprises
5/3/2011, 10:32 Link to this post PM via Email   PM via Forum
 


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